Monday, December 16, 2013

Divorce is ugly

Divorce is ugly.  Just look at the word....D-I-V-O-R-C-E.  It looks mean and ugly.  My husband and I actually filed for divorce.  We wanted to live seperate, he wanted our son and I did too, so you know what...that made it even uglier.  Now we had to prove who is the "better" parent.  I wanted him to stay with me because I felt more stable, he felt like he was more qualified "right" now to have our son live with him. While typing this I feel the anger rising in me. Who wants their marriage to fail?  When you walk down that aisle, do you say to yourself, I hope this marriage fails in 5 years?? No one!  We all want our marriages to last but this isn't always the case.  So you may say, how do I get back to forever and being married?  My answer is, IDK....as the young folks usually text.

As married couples, we have to constantly stay before the Lord and seek His guidance.  If we choose on our own, Im sure we'd probably be gone at every chance we got.  We have to seek Godly counsel as well.  My husband and I are seeking Godly counsel, but to be honest even with counsel, I am still nervous.  What if this is all in vain? What if its like it was before? How can I change? Do I want to change?

Why can't I just have the happy marriage that I see others have or on TV? Why can't we be on our third baby? Why, why, why???

Keep us in your prayers.

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