Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy holidays

Just wanted to say happy holidays, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate. Be sure to follow me and tell your friends!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Awesome marriage blog

I read this blog daily because she has such inspiring post.  I wanted to share her anniversary blog with you. It's located here: http://wearethatfamily.com/2013/12/the-kind-of-fight-every-marriage-needs-to-have/

She talks about making marriage work and how not to give up on each other in marriage. One of the key things she stated in the blog was to not become a statistic. That word rang true for me because I have fell prey to the "statistic" previously. I have been married before. So therefore I am that "statistic" that she speaks of. I divorced previously for various reasons but you know what God is still blessing me and that marriage was not ordained by God. I was out there choosing on my own. Every marriage is not a God-led marriage. The scripture states, 'what God has joined together', not man. SO if God joined you, you should not let anything come against it.  Many people think that just because you got married, it was the right marriage but that is NOT always true. I did receive a blessing from that marriage though, and that is my daughter Amariah. She will soon be 13 and I am so glad that God has given her to me!!

So all in all, marriage is God-ordained. Be blessed!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Divorce is ugly

Divorce is ugly.  Just look at the word....D-I-V-O-R-C-E.  It looks mean and ugly.  My husband and I actually filed for divorce.  We wanted to live seperate, he wanted our son and I did too, so you know what...that made it even uglier.  Now we had to prove who is the "better" parent.  I wanted him to stay with me because I felt more stable, he felt like he was more qualified "right" now to have our son live with him. While typing this I feel the anger rising in me. Who wants their marriage to fail?  When you walk down that aisle, do you say to yourself, I hope this marriage fails in 5 years?? No one!  We all want our marriages to last but this isn't always the case.  So you may say, how do I get back to forever and being married?  My answer is, IDK....as the young folks usually text.

As married couples, we have to constantly stay before the Lord and seek His guidance.  If we choose on our own, Im sure we'd probably be gone at every chance we got.  We have to seek Godly counsel as well.  My husband and I are seeking Godly counsel, but to be honest even with counsel, I am still nervous.  What if this is all in vain? What if its like it was before? How can I change? Do I want to change?

Why can't I just have the happy marriage that I see others have or on TV? Why can't we be on our third baby? Why, why, why???

Keep us in your prayers.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Great post

I thought this was a great post that I found on Facebook. What do you think?

Friday, December 13, 2013

Temptation is all around, don't be deceived!

There are so many people out here that disregard their marriage. So many willing to give it all up, for that 5 minute thrill. The devil is crafty. There will always be someone who you find attractive, who makes more money but they are not worth losing your marriage. God has given you who He wants you to have. Trust me, I am writing this not only for you, but for me. I am committed to working on myself, to become my better self. I promise to not get lax in my marriage and to always look and be my best. Do something loving for your spouse today, even if they are unlovable. You will be blessed for it!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Rings & things

So today is the first day since I can remember (probably June) that I have worn my wedding ring in public. When I say that I was finished with this relationship, I thought I meant it so I stopped wearing it. Well I missed wearing it. I love the accountability that my ring holds. It says "I'm his wife". I love my ring. No it isn't the biggest, platinum, tear dropped shaped diamond but it's beautiful and it's what my husband wanted me to have. 

Marriage isn't about changing your spouse, it's about changing you and accepting them. It's about seeing them through the eyes of Jesus. I often thought if only he would listen or do this and that I could love him more but that isn't true. In marriage, God has called a man to love and a woman to respect and honor. So when your thinking about how you can get him/her to change remember, let them be and see them through the eyes of God.

Making marriage work

So let's rewind to summer 2013, well actually spring.  I'm gonna be transparent y'all so I hope that you can respect that.  I decided during this time that marriage was no longer for me and I began to live that way.  I left mentally first and then physically.  I felt as though my husband had abandoned me when he quit his job and so now it was my turn to abandon him.  Life for me was being lived as a single woman, as though I had no care in the world. Frequent trips out of state, and hanging out with friends.  I wanted that life, that free and easy life.  How many of you all know that, free and easy, isn't truly free?  I began to sit God to the side because my marriage wasn't what I thought it should be.  My husband went along with it for a while, doing everything he could to make our lives bearable, while I continued to ignore him, shun him and basically put him out of his rightful place as the head of our home.  I thought I could do it by myself.  Everyone else seemed to be much more appealing to me. They offered me a night out on the town, gifts and other things, all the while I was still hurting and thinking that I no longer loved my husband.  The shocker came in September, when my husband had the initial divorce papers drawn. I was devastated and relieved at the same time if that makes sense.  Relieved because I didnt have to deal with him and his drama, devastated because another marriage was ending and I loved him...

I wanted to not love him, I wanted to hate him...BUT God.  He wouldn't let this be so. Every time I went to church I felt the move from God to be wuth my husband but I didnt know how to approach him. Would he be angry? Would I be angry? How can we get back to the loving side of our relationship.  There were so many mistakes to overcome...BUT God.

So I said all of this to say, even if the divorce papers have been drawn and you have paid the money, God can step in and turn everything around. I use to think people were nuts when they would say, "you never know what God can do, even in the midst of the storm". I just never thought that it applied to me, but it did. Marriage is such a great, beautiful thing but Im so embarrassed by how I disrespected what God put into place. How I talked negatively to friends and family about my husband.  The closest person to me. My vow is to never talk negative about my husband, ever in public. I wont say they I will not have gripes but they will no longer be told to single friends and NEVER aloud in public. When you say things like that, others disrespect your spouse when you have gone on to love them, and they just don't understand. I'm happy that we are finding our way! I love my husband.